Monday, 22 February 2016

February Blues

Is anybody out there?

Anyone reading this?

I'm blue.

It's February.

Everyone around me is sick. I'm the world's least patient, least sympathetic nurse. I don't want to get people tea or soup or sympathy.

I don't want to go to work and find martyr people have hauled themselves in so they can pass on their germs to me.

I don't want any of it.

I'm cranky.

PMS?  Probably.

And yet, a hi from the audience would still be nice.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016


I bet you thought I was gone, or that he was really sick and ..

well no.

I mean... I do think he was fairly sick. But not THAT sick.

I haven't seen him in ages. Weeks. Months.

I miss him.

I want to play with him.

We exchange flirty emails. Very flirty emails.

One of the things I have realized in the past month is that his kink, well, beside the basic straight bdsm thing, is watching the embarrassment, the blush.

And there I was, thinking that I was disguising my discomfort.

No way. That's what he's there for. To see me squirm.

Sunday, 7 February 2016


Sorry, I've been gone for ages.

And it's hard to come back here when I've been away.

I don't know where to start or what to say.

A little bit of information. A re-opening of the conversation.

He's been sick. Not very communicative.

It kind of freaked me out. Made me feel undesired.

Which led me to a bit angry and resentful.

So I decided to ask him.

I hinted at questions. I was subtle but I asked what was the matter?

He basically ignored them. He responded but... really not in depth. I don't think he got what I was asking. Either that or he thought, "Jeez, what a fucking nag, I can get that at home. THAT'S not submissive"

So, when he ignored, I retreated. Leaving room for him to chase me. Which he did not do.

So i asked more questions. Nagging more. If he hadn't thought it the first time, he almost certainly did the second time.

He did respond.

Reassured me.

Said all was well, except that he was sick. I have no idea what kind of sick btw.

Fuck he is shitty at answering questions. He dances around them. He's coy. He's keen to collect information, less keen on giving it sometimes.

I hope he gets well soon. I want to see him.